Thinking Out Loud

I often wonder about how I have evolved over the years. Are we shaped by age and experience ? I was once incredible shy and afraid to speak my mind. Once I turned 30 that all seemed to change. Is it confidence or just a defense mechanism of some sort ? I am not even conscious of it half the time.

In May, I was allowed to walk with with graduating MBA class although I am still finishing up my thesis. I sat at the Nassau Coliseum waiting patiently to walk to center stage to shake my college president's hand and be given an empty pseudo leather folder to place my soon to be received diploma. Before that long walk all of us had to endure the pomp and circumstance of members of the school's board. Several of them spoke during the opening ceremonies. The spoke not about the graduation class as much as they spoke about themselves. It was unbearable. Sitting in a seas of caps and gowns I found myself speaking my mind out loud. I remember having the students around me giggling with my blow by blow commentary. I did not mean to be rude but I could not help myself.

Thankfully I was far enough away from the center stage. To hear these people speak was well, embarrassing. I wanted to hear from our sports celebrity (who was well spoken and had an advanced degree) guest speaker and fellow students. It really did not want to hear from local business men who did not go to college but were receiving honorary diplomas for being rich and successful. I was not inspired. I wanted to hear from working single moms who struggled juggling classes and life and won. I wanted to hear from the kid from the Midwest who endured the culture shock of living in New York on his own for the first time far away from his family farm and how her grew in his four years at school. I have nothing against people who opt not to go to college but are still able to make a living. I just wonder how they are they are inspirations to those of us who struggle to go to school ? Making a living without a college degree is possible but not for everyone. So why boast about your professional achievements without hitting on the important stuff in life ?

I recently watched a video of J.K. Rowling giving a commencement address at a well known American university. She went to college. She struggled to get through her studies and achieve her degree. She knew about the college experience as well as life experience. She dreamed of being a writer, achieved her dream and became a success. Good stuff. Joe Blow who dropped out of high school and worked his way up in a factory to become the owner of said factory making widgets and donates lots of money to the school do he can be on the board. Good story for the most part but how does that inspire a college student ? It kind of says to me "Hey kids, I made it without school na-na-na-na-na." Am I missing something or just being a cynical New Yorker ?

Last year my sister-in-law graduated and her school's guest speaker was former NY Yankee Bernie Williams. I love the Yankees. It was cool to see Bernie especially since he no longer plays because and well, baseball is a hard career and when you get older you aren't seen as a good investment anymore and often get kicked to the curb. Bernie was signed as free agent when he was 17. Sure he worked hard and made lots of money. Got married, had three kids, does charity work and is an amazing musician to boot. So why was I OK with hearing Bernie speak and not the Long Island businessman at my commencement? because he said this :

“I know there’s certain things regarding your job or whatever you may end up doing, but I’m here to tell you, don’t let your job define who you are. Your relationships will define who you are."

Bingo. Bernie hit a home run at Madison Square Garden that afternoon. The Long Island businessman struck out. Bernie may have not had a college degree but his education on and off the baseball field served him well.

Yes, these are the things I think about at 6am on a Saturdays instead of sleeping late.