The Journey Ahead

My husband and I submitted our adoption application a few weeks ago. We were 'approved" and yesterday we signed our contract of intent to adopt a little girl from China. I mailed the document to the agency we are using along with a large check .Thank goodness they require payment in installments along the adoption process. It was check number 1957 - the year my Aunt Cindy was born- a good year indeed and a good sign.

So now the paper chase begins. It will take between 3 to 6 months to put out dossier together and the at least another 18 months before we could see a referral for our daughter. I don't mean to get ahead of myself by saying 'our daughter' but I feel an attachment already to someone I have never met who might have not yet been born. Someone in China a world away from New York is waiting for us. There is an ancient Chinese belief that an invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break. Somehow perhaps we have been connected to someone over there for a long time.

I feel different since we started this whole process. During our infertility treatments I felt so disconnected. The weekly visits to doctors, the needles, the fertility drugs- I was always tired and stressed. The drugs made me sick and caused other complications. I read all the fertility books and asked my doctors all the right questions but somehow I knew in the back of my mind I was never meant to be pregnant. I don't know exactly why I felt this way. I wanted to be pregnant and we were doing everything we could to become pregnant but something just wasn't the way it should be. The whole adoption process 'feels' right to me . Like this is what is supposed to happen. It's hard to explain. It kind of reminds me of how I knew Neil was the one for me. There were no fireworks and I did not get hit by lightening. It was this quiet moment of awareness that just grew and blossomed. It just felt right and natural and almost didn't need explanation. It just was.

So now I am consumed with hope and promise. Our country is going through all kinds of drama. The presidential election is approaching and we are in financial disarray. My company is having yet another massive layoff. People I care deeply about will be leaving and if I am not laid off I will be given more and more work to make up for those who will not be replaced. All these outside factors are swirling around me but I am quiet and sound. Hope has cushioned me from these adversities. Promise has made me realize what is truly important: Love.

*edit*
I just looked at the "quote of the day" for my blog. It's quite appropriate.

No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.~ Agnes DeMille quotes

Dreaming of China

After years of struggling with fertility issues my husband and I have decided to adopt. After doing some research into domestic adoption we decided to try an international agency. My brother in law and his wife adopted a beautiful baby girl from China last year. We went to a seminar their agency had in NYC and were quiet impressed with them. They gave us a lot of paperwork to read and review but we pretty much decided before we spoke to them that this is what we truly wanted.

I have spent the last week reading blogs from other American families who have adopted from China. There are hundreds of stories out there. I was amazed at how many families have had such a wonderful experience with Chinese adoption. The timing of the Olympics could not have been more perfect. At this point I am completely engrossed in learning everything I can about Chinese culture. I have even considered buying the Rosetta Stone instruction CDs for leaning Mandarin. We haven't even filled out all the paper work yet and I am worried about speaking Chinese !

The wait time for adoption from China is between 12-24 months. I figure that would give me plenty of time to learn as much as I can about China and work on my teaching degree so I can have more time at home with my family. Corporate America boasts of it's family friendly ideals but it's ultimately a lie. The company I work for claims it has great benefits for working moms but I have seen otherwise. I have had a supervisor grill me to see when I planned on having children so he could "plan ahead." I have seen managers chastise their direct reports for taking off the allowed time after having a baby, advising that "it would be detrimental to your career." It's a joke. Yet every year my company makes it in the top 100 places for Working Moms. Someone is not being truthful for sure. As a manager I have been told to NEVER call in sick or I will be blacklisted for the next layoff. Nice, eh ?

So there it is. In 2 years we could have a child of our own. It's so awe inspiring just to write it. Guess I'd better get started on that paperwork.