My husband and I submitted our adoption application a few weeks ago. We were 'approved" and yesterday we signed our contract of intent to adopt a little girl from China. I mailed the document to the agency we are using along with a large check .Thank goodness they require payment in installments along the adoption process. It was check number 1957 - the year my Aunt Cindy was born- a good year indeed and a good sign.
So now the paper chase begins. It will take between 3 to 6 months to put out dossier together and the at least another 18 months before we could see a referral for our daughter. I don't mean to get ahead of myself by saying 'our daughter' but I feel an attachment already to someone I have never met who might have not yet been born. Someone in China a world away from New York is waiting for us. There is an ancient Chinese belief that an invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break. Somehow perhaps we have been connected to someone over there for a long time.
I feel different since we started this whole process. During our infertility treatments I felt so disconnected. The weekly visits to doctors, the needles, the fertility drugs- I was always tired and stressed. The drugs made me sick and caused other complications. I read all the fertility books and asked my doctors all the right questions but somehow I knew in the back of my mind I was never meant to be pregnant. I don't know exactly why I felt this way. I wanted to be pregnant and we were doing everything we could to become pregnant but something just wasn't the way it should be. The whole adoption process 'feels' right to me . Like this is what is supposed to happen. It's hard to explain. It kind of reminds me of how I knew Neil was the one for me. There were no fireworks and I did not get hit by lightening. It was this quiet moment of awareness that just grew and blossomed. It just felt right and natural and almost didn't need explanation. It just was.
So now I am consumed with hope and promise. Our country is going through all kinds of drama. The presidential election is approaching and we are in financial disarray. My company is having yet another massive layoff. People I care deeply about will be leaving and if I am not laid off I will be given more and more work to make up for those who will not be replaced. All these outside factors are swirling around me but I am quiet and sound. Hope has cushioned me from these adversities. Promise has made me realize what is truly important: Love.
*edit*
I just looked at the "quote of the day" for my blog. It's quite appropriate.
No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.~ Agnes DeMille quotes
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Choosing My Religion
I was baptised a Roman Catholic. Throughout my life I have wrestled with my given religion. At one point I was quite devout and even considered a life as a religious. When I look back and think of the whys and hows of why I practiced, I think I was longing for structure and a constant spirituality in my life. No matter how crazy my life at home was I could always count on mass being at the same time every Sunday. If my parents drank themselves into oblivion and were abusive or said hurtful things Jesus loved me. When my life seemed to fall apart at the seams I would drown my sorrow in prayer. I often prayed for strength just to get through whatever it was I was dealing with.
As I grew older I began to question my religion. The church's anti- gay stance really went against my personal beliefs. I still get angry in hearing that gays are not allowed to march at the St. Patrick's Day parade. I thought everyone was Irish on March 17 not just straight Catholics. The whole birth control/abortion thing drives me crazy too. The God I believe in is not sending a 15 year old girl living in a broken home to hell for having an abortion. I would never have an abortion but hey, I have no right to tell another woman what kind of decision to make with her body. Don't even get me started on the sexual abuse committed by priests and hid by the church. So I have lived as a cafeteria Catholic for many years picking an choosing the doctrine that suits me and my conscious. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone kind of thinking.
I don't attend mass except for weddings, funerals and the occasional christening.
When my husband and I married eight years ago (he's Jewish) we had a reform rabbi officiate. My priest at the time refused to even meet with us because as he put it I would "be making a serious error in judgement before God" to marry someone who was not a Catholic. When I called the rabbi he asked me one question before we met: "Is he the one?" I didn't hesitate when saying yes my then fiance was "the one." We met the rabbi and he agreed to marry us. I had lots of questions for him during that first meeting. The big one was did I need to convert to Judaism before the wedding. He point blank told me no. He refused to covert anyone because of marriage. He said conversion would have to be for 'me' not anyone else. I thought this was an interesting concept and always held it in the back of my mind.
My husband and I agreed before we were even married we would raise our children (if we were so blessed to have any) as Jews. I learned all the traditions and holidays. I even learned to cook Jewish food thanks to my aunt and mother-in-law. I've lived somewhat of a Jewish life- just not officially I suppose. I still put up a Christmas tree every year but my husband was much better at decorating than I ever was which I found quite funny. Last month my husband's uncle passed away. He was 90 years old and lived in Florida. The funeral was here in New York. I have always preferred the Jewish rituals of death. There was no open casket, no 3 day wake, no fighting relatives over the best floral display at the funeral home. Jewish funerals are simple and dignified. I have always asked my family members to make sure I was buried like a Jew. At the funeral that hot summer day we all stood around the open grave and gently shoveled dirt in. All I could think of was these are not just my in laws buried here. This is my family. When my time comes this is where I belong. As I stood with my family and listened to the Hebrew prayers my mind drifted to of all people Yvonne De Carlo. She had this quote from the Ten Commandments "Your people are my people. I will go where they go." ( I don't think it's verbatim but you get the idea) Was this my sign ? For years I have considered conversion but never acted upon it. A few years ago I discussed this with my aunt. She said "If you have to ask, you aren't ready." It makes sense I suppose. I in turn ask myself "If not now then when."
As I grew older I began to question my religion. The church's anti- gay stance really went against my personal beliefs. I still get angry in hearing that gays are not allowed to march at the St. Patrick's Day parade. I thought everyone was Irish on March 17 not just straight Catholics. The whole birth control/abortion thing drives me crazy too. The God I believe in is not sending a 15 year old girl living in a broken home to hell for having an abortion. I would never have an abortion but hey, I have no right to tell another woman what kind of decision to make with her body. Don't even get me started on the sexual abuse committed by priests and hid by the church. So I have lived as a cafeteria Catholic for many years picking an choosing the doctrine that suits me and my conscious. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone kind of thinking.
I don't attend mass except for weddings, funerals and the occasional christening.
When my husband and I married eight years ago (he's Jewish) we had a reform rabbi officiate. My priest at the time refused to even meet with us because as he put it I would "be making a serious error in judgement before God" to marry someone who was not a Catholic. When I called the rabbi he asked me one question before we met: "Is he the one?" I didn't hesitate when saying yes my then fiance was "the one." We met the rabbi and he agreed to marry us. I had lots of questions for him during that first meeting. The big one was did I need to convert to Judaism before the wedding. He point blank told me no. He refused to covert anyone because of marriage. He said conversion would have to be for 'me' not anyone else. I thought this was an interesting concept and always held it in the back of my mind.
My husband and I agreed before we were even married we would raise our children (if we were so blessed to have any) as Jews. I learned all the traditions and holidays. I even learned to cook Jewish food thanks to my aunt and mother-in-law. I've lived somewhat of a Jewish life- just not officially I suppose. I still put up a Christmas tree every year but my husband was much better at decorating than I ever was which I found quite funny. Last month my husband's uncle passed away. He was 90 years old and lived in Florida. The funeral was here in New York. I have always preferred the Jewish rituals of death. There was no open casket, no 3 day wake, no fighting relatives over the best floral display at the funeral home. Jewish funerals are simple and dignified. I have always asked my family members to make sure I was buried like a Jew. At the funeral that hot summer day we all stood around the open grave and gently shoveled dirt in. All I could think of was these are not just my in laws buried here. This is my family. When my time comes this is where I belong. As I stood with my family and listened to the Hebrew prayers my mind drifted to of all people Yvonne De Carlo. She had this quote from the Ten Commandments "Your people are my people. I will go where they go." ( I don't think it's verbatim but you get the idea) Was this my sign ? For years I have considered conversion but never acted upon it. A few years ago I discussed this with my aunt. She said "If you have to ask, you aren't ready." It makes sense I suppose. I in turn ask myself "If not now then when."
Monday, September 8, 2008
Working on the Front Line in Corporate America
Today a good friend of mine found out she was being laid off. This is not uncommon in today's economy. Lots of stuff is going on and many people are losing their jobs. This case is a bit different. My friend just came back from a 6 month maternity leave. We had our corporate layoff announcement in June. This means my friend was slotted for the layoff while she was on maternity leave. The real clincher is how she found out. She returned to work on 9/2/08 and was given her old job back plus a few new responsibilities. Over the weekend she got a letter from HR asking her about signing up for COBRA (health insurance when you lose your job). This morning she questioned her boss about it and her boss said "oh yeah I just found out on Friday about your layoff." Which I am pretty sure is untrue as these headcount issues are planned quite meticulously. Had my friend only taken 6-8 weeks off she probably would have fallen under the reassignment umbrella when the layoffs were going on as several of her co-workers were.
The thing that really bugs me is that our company is constantly being applauded by major publications such as Working Mother magazine, boasting of its generous benefits package and maternity leave arrangements such as GRW (gradual return to work). It's all smoke and mirrors. Female managers who get pregnant are often harassed by their bosses about how much time they will be taking off and what kind of child care arrangements are being made. I myself was cornered by a former boss who wanted to know if and when I planned on getting pregnant because he had plans to make.
The only saving grace is my friend has 7 months to find a new job. She technically won't be 'let go' until her GRW is up (6 months) and then she gets the customary 30 days to find a new job within the company. This is a huge undertaking but at least she has some time on her side and a decent network to pull from. She has 15 years in the company and is one of the smartest people I know. To hear her go through this is heartbreaking. I am at a loss and all that rolls through my brain is if she could get hit I could without a doubt. We are not people. We are numbers. There is really only one thing we can do and that is take it for all it's worth. Meet people, network and take advantage of anything out company offers us such as tuition reimbursement. If I get fired I will walk away with almost $100,000 worth of college tuition and two degrees that can not be taken away.
The thing that really bugs me is that our company is constantly being applauded by major publications such as Working Mother magazine, boasting of its generous benefits package and maternity leave arrangements such as GRW (gradual return to work). It's all smoke and mirrors. Female managers who get pregnant are often harassed by their bosses about how much time they will be taking off and what kind of child care arrangements are being made. I myself was cornered by a former boss who wanted to know if and when I planned on getting pregnant because he had plans to make.
The only saving grace is my friend has 7 months to find a new job. She technically won't be 'let go' until her GRW is up (6 months) and then she gets the customary 30 days to find a new job within the company. This is a huge undertaking but at least she has some time on her side and a decent network to pull from. She has 15 years in the company and is one of the smartest people I know. To hear her go through this is heartbreaking. I am at a loss and all that rolls through my brain is if she could get hit I could without a doubt. We are not people. We are numbers. There is really only one thing we can do and that is take it for all it's worth. Meet people, network and take advantage of anything out company offers us such as tuition reimbursement. If I get fired I will walk away with almost $100,000 worth of college tuition and two degrees that can not be taken away.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Thought Process of a Listener
I am a huge music fan. I find myself most attracted to bands that have thought provoking lyrics. I like music that I can obviously relate to but also makes me think. Sometimes you just want to hear stuff that makes you smile but I find I mostly want to find something that moves me. This is one of the reasons I am a huge fan of the rock band Rush. They make great music and their drummer Neil Peart is an amazing writer. He writes all the lyrics for the band. I have pretty much grown up listening to Rush. My high school years were defined by songs like "Subdivisions" and "Spirit of Radio". My young adult years: "Time Stand Still", "Bravado" and "Dreamline." Now that I have reached (gasp-dare I say?) middle age, I am happy to report Rush is alive and well still making some amazing music. Their latest album spawned a new catalog of songs such as "Far Cry" which hits a chord (no pun intended) in my life and once again the soundtrack of my little world plays on.
Imagine my shock when I start listening to one of the "new bands" called Fall Out Boy and find their chief lyricist was born in 1984- the year I was a junior in high school. Suddenly I feel like this is not right. How can I relate to someone so young? A teenybopper to me for sure. But I hear a few thought provoking lines in some of their songs. Mostly about coming of age (been there), heartbreak and searching for meaning (been there too). I download a bunch of their songs to my Zune and proceed to dissect them.
"Hum Hallelujah" seems to take a cue from the old Leonard Cohen song which was beautifully remade by the late Jeff Buckley. Fall Out boy puts their own spin on it in an anthem kind of way. A few lines catch my ear "I could write it better than you ever felt it" and "I love you in the same way there's a chapel in a hospital." Clearly pointing to their teenage fan base they include "So hum hallelujah.Just off the key of reason.I thought I loved you.It was just how you looked in the light.A teenage vow in a parking lot (Hum hallelujah)Till tonight do us part." I am not sure why this song sticks in my head but it does. I've never loved anyone because of the way the light reflects off them but its a silly metaphor that encompasses the frivolous way teenagers (not all teenagers of course) can fall in love. "I could write it better than you ever felt it" makes me think the song is geared toward the inexperienced listeners still waiting for their life to take off and provide them with the wisdom only a life lived can possess.
This makes me think. Back in the day when I fell in love with Rush, I was one of those teenagers. I didn't know much about life but I possessed that angst only teenagers have and the curiosity to find what life was all about.It's kind of cool to see how things come full circle across generations. This is definitely something I did not see when I was a kid. The whole circle of life thing and the continuation of thoughts and emotions is interesting. I wonder is FOB will be around for as long as Rush has and will their teenage generation carry over to write about them in their blogs or whatever new technology is out there.
Subdivisons
Words by neil peart, music by geddy lee and alex lifeson
Sprawling on the fringes of the city
In geometric order
An insulated border
In between the bright lights
And the far unlit unknown
Growing up it all seems so one-sided
Opinions all provided
The future pre-decided
Detached and subdivided
In the mass production zone
Nowhere is the dreamer
Or the misfit so alone
Subdivisions
In the high school halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out
Subdivisions
In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out
Any escape might help to smooth
The unattractive truth
But the suburbs have no charms to soothe
The restless dreams of youth
Drawn like moths we drift into the city
The timeless old attraction
Cruising for the action
Lit up like a firefly
Just to feel the living night
Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory
Of lighted streets on quiet nights...
Imagine my shock when I start listening to one of the "new bands" called Fall Out Boy and find their chief lyricist was born in 1984- the year I was a junior in high school. Suddenly I feel like this is not right. How can I relate to someone so young? A teenybopper to me for sure. But I hear a few thought provoking lines in some of their songs. Mostly about coming of age (been there), heartbreak and searching for meaning (been there too). I download a bunch of their songs to my Zune and proceed to dissect them.
"Hum Hallelujah" seems to take a cue from the old Leonard Cohen song which was beautifully remade by the late Jeff Buckley. Fall Out boy puts their own spin on it in an anthem kind of way. A few lines catch my ear "I could write it better than you ever felt it" and "I love you in the same way there's a chapel in a hospital." Clearly pointing to their teenage fan base they include "So hum hallelujah.Just off the key of reason.I thought I loved you.It was just how you looked in the light.A teenage vow in a parking lot (Hum hallelujah)Till tonight do us part." I am not sure why this song sticks in my head but it does. I've never loved anyone because of the way the light reflects off them but its a silly metaphor that encompasses the frivolous way teenagers (not all teenagers of course) can fall in love. "I could write it better than you ever felt it" makes me think the song is geared toward the inexperienced listeners still waiting for their life to take off and provide them with the wisdom only a life lived can possess.
This makes me think. Back in the day when I fell in love with Rush, I was one of those teenagers. I didn't know much about life but I possessed that angst only teenagers have and the curiosity to find what life was all about.It's kind of cool to see how things come full circle across generations. This is definitely something I did not see when I was a kid. The whole circle of life thing and the continuation of thoughts and emotions is interesting. I wonder is FOB will be around for as long as Rush has and will their teenage generation carry over to write about them in their blogs or whatever new technology is out there.
Subdivisons
Words by neil peart, music by geddy lee and alex lifeson
Sprawling on the fringes of the city
In geometric order
An insulated border
In between the bright lights
And the far unlit unknown
Growing up it all seems so one-sided
Opinions all provided
The future pre-decided
Detached and subdivided
In the mass production zone
Nowhere is the dreamer
Or the misfit so alone
Subdivisions
In the high school halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out
Subdivisions
In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out
Any escape might help to smooth
The unattractive truth
But the suburbs have no charms to soothe
The restless dreams of youth
Drawn like moths we drift into the city
The timeless old attraction
Cruising for the action
Lit up like a firefly
Just to feel the living night
Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory
Of lighted streets on quiet nights...
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Thinking Out Loud
I often wonder about how I have evolved over the years. Are we shaped by age and experience ? I was once incredible shy and afraid to speak my mind. Once I turned 30 that all seemed to change. Is it confidence or just a defense mechanism of some sort ? I am not even conscious of it half the time.
In May, I was allowed to walk with with graduating MBA class although I am still finishing up my thesis. I sat at the Nassau Coliseum waiting patiently to walk to center stage to shake my college president's hand and be given an empty pseudo leather folder to place my soon to be received diploma. Before that long walk all of us had to endure the pomp and circumstance of members of the school's board. Several of them spoke during the opening ceremonies. The spoke not about the graduation class as much as they spoke about themselves. It was unbearable. Sitting in a seas of caps and gowns I found myself speaking my mind out loud. I remember having the students around me giggling with my blow by blow commentary. I did not mean to be rude but I could not help myself.
Thankfully I was far enough away from the center stage. To hear these people speak was well, embarrassing. I wanted to hear from our sports celebrity (who was well spoken and had an advanced degree) guest speaker and fellow students. It really did not want to hear from local business men who did not go to college but were receiving honorary diplomas for being rich and successful. I was not inspired. I wanted to hear from working single moms who struggled juggling classes and life and won. I wanted to hear from the kid from the Midwest who endured the culture shock of living in New York on his own for the first time far away from his family farm and how her grew in his four years at school. I have nothing against people who opt not to go to college but are still able to make a living. I just wonder how they are they are inspirations to those of us who struggle to go to school ? Making a living without a college degree is possible but not for everyone. So why boast about your professional achievements without hitting on the important stuff in life ?
I recently watched a video of J.K. Rowling giving a commencement address at a well known American university. She went to college. She struggled to get through her studies and achieve her degree. She knew about the college experience as well as life experience. She dreamed of being a writer, achieved her dream and became a success. Good stuff. Joe Blow who dropped out of high school and worked his way up in a factory to become the owner of said factory making widgets and donates lots of money to the school do he can be on the board. Good story for the most part but how does that inspire a college student ? It kind of says to me "Hey kids, I made it without school na-na-na-na-na." Am I missing something or just being a cynical New Yorker ?
Last year my sister-in-law graduated and her school's guest speaker was former NY Yankee Bernie Williams. I love the Yankees. It was cool to see Bernie especially since he no longer plays because and well, baseball is a hard career and when you get older you aren't seen as a good investment anymore and often get kicked to the curb. Bernie was signed as free agent when he was 17. Sure he worked hard and made lots of money. Got married, had three kids, does charity work and is an amazing musician to boot. So why was I OK with hearing Bernie speak and not the Long Island businessman at my commencement? because he said this :
“I know there’s certain things regarding your job or whatever you may end up doing, but I’m here to tell you, don’t let your job define who you are. Your relationships will define who you are."
Bingo. Bernie hit a home run at Madison Square Garden that afternoon. The Long Island businessman struck out. Bernie may have not had a college degree but his education on and off the baseball field served him well.
Yes, these are the things I think about at 6am on a Saturdays instead of sleeping late.
In May, I was allowed to walk with with graduating MBA class although I am still finishing up my thesis. I sat at the Nassau Coliseum waiting patiently to walk to center stage to shake my college president's hand and be given an empty pseudo leather folder to place my soon to be received diploma. Before that long walk all of us had to endure the pomp and circumstance of members of the school's board. Several of them spoke during the opening ceremonies. The spoke not about the graduation class as much as they spoke about themselves. It was unbearable. Sitting in a seas of caps and gowns I found myself speaking my mind out loud. I remember having the students around me giggling with my blow by blow commentary. I did not mean to be rude but I could not help myself.
Thankfully I was far enough away from the center stage. To hear these people speak was well, embarrassing. I wanted to hear from our sports celebrity (who was well spoken and had an advanced degree) guest speaker and fellow students. It really did not want to hear from local business men who did not go to college but were receiving honorary diplomas for being rich and successful. I was not inspired. I wanted to hear from working single moms who struggled juggling classes and life and won. I wanted to hear from the kid from the Midwest who endured the culture shock of living in New York on his own for the first time far away from his family farm and how her grew in his four years at school. I have nothing against people who opt not to go to college but are still able to make a living. I just wonder how they are they are inspirations to those of us who struggle to go to school ? Making a living without a college degree is possible but not for everyone. So why boast about your professional achievements without hitting on the important stuff in life ?
I recently watched a video of J.K. Rowling giving a commencement address at a well known American university. She went to college. She struggled to get through her studies and achieve her degree. She knew about the college experience as well as life experience. She dreamed of being a writer, achieved her dream and became a success. Good stuff. Joe Blow who dropped out of high school and worked his way up in a factory to become the owner of said factory making widgets and donates lots of money to the school do he can be on the board. Good story for the most part but how does that inspire a college student ? It kind of says to me "Hey kids, I made it without school na-na-na-na-na." Am I missing something or just being a cynical New Yorker ?
Last year my sister-in-law graduated and her school's guest speaker was former NY Yankee Bernie Williams. I love the Yankees. It was cool to see Bernie especially since he no longer plays because and well, baseball is a hard career and when you get older you aren't seen as a good investment anymore and often get kicked to the curb. Bernie was signed as free agent when he was 17. Sure he worked hard and made lots of money. Got married, had three kids, does charity work and is an amazing musician to boot. So why was I OK with hearing Bernie speak and not the Long Island businessman at my commencement? because he said this :
“I know there’s certain things regarding your job or whatever you may end up doing, but I’m here to tell you, don’t let your job define who you are. Your relationships will define who you are."
Bingo. Bernie hit a home run at Madison Square Garden that afternoon. The Long Island businessman struck out. Bernie may have not had a college degree but his education on and off the baseball field served him well.
Yes, these are the things I think about at 6am on a Saturdays instead of sleeping late.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Dreaming of China
After years of struggling with fertility issues my husband and I have decided to adopt. After doing some research into domestic adoption we decided to try an international agency. My brother in law and his wife adopted a beautiful baby girl from China last year. We went to a seminar their agency had in NYC and were quiet impressed with them. They gave us a lot of paperwork to read and review but we pretty much decided before we spoke to them that this is what we truly wanted.
I have spent the last week reading blogs from other American families who have adopted from China. There are hundreds of stories out there. I was amazed at how many families have had such a wonderful experience with Chinese adoption. The timing of the Olympics could not have been more perfect. At this point I am completely engrossed in learning everything I can about Chinese culture. I have even considered buying the Rosetta Stone instruction CDs for leaning Mandarin. We haven't even filled out all the paper work yet and I am worried about speaking Chinese !
The wait time for adoption from China is between 12-24 months. I figure that would give me plenty of time to learn as much as I can about China and work on my teaching degree so I can have more time at home with my family. Corporate America boasts of it's family friendly ideals but it's ultimately a lie. The company I work for claims it has great benefits for working moms but I have seen otherwise. I have had a supervisor grill me to see when I planned on having children so he could "plan ahead." I have seen managers chastise their direct reports for taking off the allowed time after having a baby, advising that "it would be detrimental to your career." It's a joke. Yet every year my company makes it in the top 100 places for Working Moms. Someone is not being truthful for sure. As a manager I have been told to NEVER call in sick or I will be blacklisted for the next layoff. Nice, eh ?
So there it is. In 2 years we could have a child of our own. It's so awe inspiring just to write it. Guess I'd better get started on that paperwork.
I have spent the last week reading blogs from other American families who have adopted from China. There are hundreds of stories out there. I was amazed at how many families have had such a wonderful experience with Chinese adoption. The timing of the Olympics could not have been more perfect. At this point I am completely engrossed in learning everything I can about Chinese culture. I have even considered buying the Rosetta Stone instruction CDs for leaning Mandarin. We haven't even filled out all the paper work yet and I am worried about speaking Chinese !
The wait time for adoption from China is between 12-24 months. I figure that would give me plenty of time to learn as much as I can about China and work on my teaching degree so I can have more time at home with my family. Corporate America boasts of it's family friendly ideals but it's ultimately a lie. The company I work for claims it has great benefits for working moms but I have seen otherwise. I have had a supervisor grill me to see when I planned on having children so he could "plan ahead." I have seen managers chastise their direct reports for taking off the allowed time after having a baby, advising that "it would be detrimental to your career." It's a joke. Yet every year my company makes it in the top 100 places for Working Moms. Someone is not being truthful for sure. As a manager I have been told to NEVER call in sick or I will be blacklisted for the next layoff. Nice, eh ?
So there it is. In 2 years we could have a child of our own. It's so awe inspiring just to write it. Guess I'd better get started on that paperwork.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Consideration and Karma
I don't know why but it always amazes me when people are rude and inconsiderate. Today while running errands I made my usual stop at Starbucks. When driving through a parking lot I always follow the rules. I don't drive recklessly across empty parking spaces and I drive kind of slow: you know the drill- people are bringing groceries to their car, parents are walking through the lot with little children etc. Today some idiot driving a brand new Chrysler 3000 was talking on his cell phone zipping through the lot, driving on the wrong side of the designated aisle. The guy almost hit me and some other lady who was driving a station wagon with children inside. He unceremoniously parks crooked in the handicapped spot in front of Starbucks and then storms into the T-Mobile store. I was so very close to saying something to this a-hole. I somehow contained myself and entered Starbucks- my sanctuary from the crazy world.
The people that work there know me (I'm a regular) and know what I drink: a venti non-fat vanilla latte. As I leave the store lo and behold there is rude man sitting in his car while the driver's side door wide open. A T-mobile employee is trying to explain something to him but he is just yelling at the poor guy. I go home with my latte.This whole rude-guy experience is really bugging me. I flip on the TV and start to read my newspaper. CNN is on. It's my usual background noise of choice when reading.
Christaine Amanpour is interviewing the Dalai Lama.She asks him about the injustice Tibet faces from China. The Dalai Lama is emphatic about peaceful resistance. He explains when someone has wronged you it's important to pray for them. When you do good you will get goodness in return. When you do bad well, you know. That is the whole belief of Buddhism. His simple words immediately struck a cord and I was glad for not yelling at "rude man." Karma will take care of it. I am so glad I turned on the TV.
Check out CNN for the special series Buddha's Warriors
The people that work there know me (I'm a regular) and know what I drink: a venti non-fat vanilla latte. As I leave the store lo and behold there is rude man sitting in his car while the driver's side door wide open. A T-mobile employee is trying to explain something to him but he is just yelling at the poor guy. I go home with my latte.This whole rude-guy experience is really bugging me. I flip on the TV and start to read my newspaper. CNN is on. It's my usual background noise of choice when reading.
Christaine Amanpour is interviewing the Dalai Lama.She asks him about the injustice Tibet faces from China. The Dalai Lama is emphatic about peaceful resistance. He explains when someone has wronged you it's important to pray for them. When you do good you will get goodness in return. When you do bad well, you know. That is the whole belief of Buddhism. His simple words immediately struck a cord and I was glad for not yelling at "rude man." Karma will take care of it. I am so glad I turned on the TV.
Check out CNN for the special series Buddha's Warriors
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